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用户:SSYoung

这名用户是反破坏工作小组成员。
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Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people that you never met. And all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever, and you brag about — and the Americans'll go "Fuck the French! Fuck the French, if we hadn't had saved their ass in two World Wars, they'd be speakin' German right now!" And you go, "Oh, was that us?" That was us? Was that me and you, Tommy, we saved the French? Jesus! I know I blacked out a little bit after that fourth shot of Jägermeister last night, but I don't remember... I know we went through the Wendy's drive-thru to get one of them "Freschetta" sandwiches that looked so alluring on the commercial, but then we ordered it and realized we had no money, and we had to ditch out before the second window, and those douchebags in line behind us with the bass music probably got our order and we laughed about that. But I don't remember savin' the French. At all! I went through the last ten calls on my cell phone and there's nothin' incoming or outgoing to the French, lookin' for muscle on a project! I checked my pants, there's no mud stains on the knees from where we were garroting Krauts in the trenches at Verdun. I think we didn't do anything but watch sports bloopers while we got hammered. I think we should shut the fuck up!

民族主义教会你的唯一一件事,就是去憎恨那些你从没见过的人。突然间,你就为那些从来没有参与过的成就感到骄傲,还为此大吹特吹——(法国反对美国伊拉克战争后)美国人总是说“艹他妈的法国人!艹他妈的法国人,要不是当初我们在两次世界大战中救了他们,现在他们就得说德语了!”你这么说:“哦?是我们么?”是我们么?Tommy,是你和我,咱们两个去救的法国人么?天呐!我知道昨晚我喝了四杯野格酒就断片了一会儿,但是我不记得……我知道我们开到温蒂汉堡的汽车点餐,买了广告上特好看的那个三明治,但是点完之后发现两人都没带钱,然后没取餐没付钱就直接跑了,估计店员把我们点的东西给了后边那群开着重低音的傻逼,然后咱俩还嘲笑他们来着。但是我不记得救了法国人啊。屁都不记得啊!我看手机上最后十个电话,根本没有和法国打过,没有电话说要来招募我!我看我裤子上面连个泥点都没有,更别说在凡尔登的战壕里杀过德国鬼子了。我认为“我们”啥都没干过,就只是喝高了看比赛花絮。我认为“我们”应该闭上他妈的臭嘴。

——Doug StanhopeNo Refund (2017) *
*: It's a fucking stand-up comedy, not a paper in an academic journal.

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